how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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