you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I don't deserve a penis
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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