Are we in a gay sports bar?
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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