So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
