I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
