My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
