it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
