isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Randomize
