If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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