Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
