im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
