He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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