i just google imaged poop.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
