New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
