did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
