Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
