meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
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