I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
