Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
