he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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