another moral hangover. fuck.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
