your parents love me but you hate me
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
