You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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