you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
