Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
