I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
