hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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