What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
