He is an equal opportunity slut.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
