i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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