Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
