oh fat girl friday strikes again...
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
