Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
