yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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