just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
