is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
