I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
