Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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