i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
