i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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