I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize