a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
