go do what you do best...puke behind churches
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
