At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize