Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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