foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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