We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
