Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
