nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
