Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
