Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
