mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
