i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
