Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
