Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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