please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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