we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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