in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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