From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
