No awkward lesbian experiences without me
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
