I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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