He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
