NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize