were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
