nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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